Waiting for a response or result can be incredibly anxiety-inducing, especially for someone like me, dealing with PTSD. Recently, my husband and I decided to purchase a home and the process produced extreme anxiety for me. During the action steps, applying for the loan, finalizing the contract, and selecting finishes, I was calm and even enjoyed it. But, when it came to waiting for contract approval, loan approval, and things that were out of my control, extreme anxiety set it.
When I realized how on edge I was, and started to investigate the reason, I was surprised when I discovered it was the home purchasing process. It was the waiting game that triggered me.
I worked with several tools that helped me in the process, and I include them here in hopes that they work for you:
- Mindfulness and Grounding: I felt my toes and fingers, focused on tasks that kept me in the moment, and reminded myself that it is a process.
- Deep Breathing: Several times during the process, I caught myself holding my breath. Taking deep breaths helped to calm my nervous system and relax.
- Movement: I found that walking and yoga distracted me from the stressful waiting and allowed me to take a break from the anxiety.
- Support: Not only did it help to chat with a friend and whine a bit, it was important that I remind myself that I am my best support and show self-compassion given that waiting and feeling helpless is one of my PTSD triggers.
- Control: I focused on what I could control rather than fixating on the outcome. I was able to tick off many things on my to-do list that were less stressful. This gave me a sense of control and accomplishment for using the waiting time wisely and usefully.
- Get Help: Although I did not call my counselor for help, if I had not been able to get a grip on my anxiety on my own, I certainly would have. If this is necessary, there’s no shame in reaching out.
Everyone copes with anxiety differently. It may take some trial and error to find the strategies that work best for you. I hope that my list is a starting point toward your self-care as it was for me.
Here’s to Hope,
Maryclara
