I woke up one day, not long ago, in the stress place and started to go down the anxiety trail. You know that feeling. My stomach clutched and a phantom fear held me in a distressed place. Had I overdrawn my checking account? Had I forgotten something important on my to do list that would come back to bite me? Had I promised to do something and flaked on someone?
It did not feel like a real-life current dilemma, but something from the past that was ambiguous and haunting. I caught the worry setting in anyway, and said, “No you don’t. I don’t live there anymore. That’s a habit from long ago and it doesn’t belong in my world today.”
The anxiety stopped increasing but didn’t go away. It was as if it, the “It” being my negative habit, was confused about what to do.
So, I tried my Grandma Helen’s remedy: “Get thee behind me, fear.” I felt a little better, but it didn’t really work, as I’m just not too biblical, and that one hasn’t every taken hold in my tool kit. Then, I remembered what Jean, my Spiritual Director had told me. “God goes with.” I stewed on that for a while. If God, or the Universe, or Great Spirit is relational, and fear cuts me off from that relating, then I need to find a way to keep relating.
I didn’t really feel connected, but I took a step and spoke to Great Spirit out loud: “I choose you.” I felt the anxiety go toward a narrow trail in my mind’s eye, but it stalled out on the path having nowhere else to go. The energy turned and started to come back. So, I said: “That door is closed. I don’t live there anymore.”
I then saw the path, in my mind, with a barrier across it – me on one side and the anxiety on the other side. The anxiety subsided and then dissipated. It worked, I’d stopped the habit in its tracks, down the trail, for the first time. Having no power remaining, the anxiety dissipated, and I was clear. After that date, I used this “God goes with,” methodology many times for different dilemmas, making it a favorite tool in my toolbox. I hope it becomes useful to you, too.
Here’s To Hope,
Maryclara
