I recently worked through an online course on building habits to improve my daily writing output. For years, I had averaged between five hundred and one thousand words a day, during most weekdays. I wanted to move my book publishing to a more rapid rate, therefore requiring that I wrote either more words a day and/or more days a week.
While working through the course, I learned a few new tips, but mostly reviewed habits I already had or once had and abandoned. The most important thing that came from the course was to remind me to be more aware of my habits, and therefore make conscious decisions about which ones were worth the time and effort. I found that lots of habits were good to have, but if they ate up time that could be devoted to even more important habits, they should be dropped in order to up the level of commitment to higher habits.
An interesting by-product emerged from re-establishing old habits and adding new ones. My anxiety and CPTSD triggers were reduced. I felt more in control of my life, and therefore, less anxious about being buffeted from outside influences. Establishing new, or strengthening existing high value habits, was supportive in management of my CPTSD symptoms as well as comforting and calming to my anxiety levels.
I also noted that I had more control over my situation, and power over issues, than I had previously realized. It gave me a perspective to see that I was often doing better than I thought.
I had often suggested to my son that he re-establish an exercise program when he was in a particularly high anxiety state from his own PTSD symptoms. Thinking it through about habits made me wonder if there wasn’t a double benefit from exercise. First, the actual physical benefits of stress relief, better sleep, etc., but also the comfort and anxiety-relieving benefit of the habit itself, apart from the physicality.
The process reminded me of my younger days when I would go on extreme diets in an attempt to gain control in the midst of the uncontrollable. This time, with better perspective, it was different. By being mindful, instead of being controlling, I relaxed into the habits without rigidity.
When I went back to the writing habit, I set a goal of a certain number of words per day, but did not feel victimized, or as if I were losing control if I did not reach the word count. The habit, and the consciousness of it, allowed me to treat it for what it was, not what I was blowing it up to be.
Here’s to hope,
Maryclara
